“Here’s the thing. Men in our culture have been socialized to believe that their opinions on women’s appearance matter a lot. Not all men buy into this, of course, but many do. Some seem incapable of entertaining the notion that not everything women do with their appearance is for men to look at. This is why men’s response to women discussing stifling beauty norms is so often something like “But I actually like small boobs!” and “But I actually like my women on the heavier side, if you know what I mean!” They don’t realize that their individual opinion on women’s appearance doesn’t matter in this context, and that while it might be reassuring for some women to know that there are indeed men who find them fuckable, that’s not the point of the discussion.

Women, too, have been socialized to believe that the ultimate arbiters of their appearance are men, that anything they do with their appearance is or should be “for men.” That’s why women’s magazines trip over themselves to offer up advice on “what he wants to see you wearing” and “what men think of these current fashion trends” and “wow him with these new hairstyles.” While women can and do judge each other’s appearance harshly, many of us grew up being told by mothers, sisters, and female strangers that we’ll never “get a man” or “keep a man” unless we do X or lose some fat from Y, unless we moisturize//trim/shave/push up/hide/show/”flatter”/paint/dye/exfoliate/pierce/surgically alter this or that.

That’s also why when a woman wears revealing clothes, it’s okay, in our society, to assume that she’s “looking for attention” or that she’s a slut and wants to sleep with a bunch of guys. Because why else would a woman wear revealing clothes if not for the benefit of men and to communicate her sexual availability to them, right? It can’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that it’s hot out or it’s more comfortable or she likes how she looks in it or everything else is in the laundry or she wants to get a tan or maybe she likes women and wants attention from them, not from men?

The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure.”

- Brute Reason 

So bloody accurate. 

It angers me, in fact it enrages me when men don't show proper respect. How would they feel if someone was looking at/ talking to/ shouting at their mother like that? Or if it was them made to feel uncomfortable and like they could be attacked any second. 

I gladly go out looking like shit most of the time cause I'm at college 5 days a week and I a-can't be bothered and b, mainly b- really hate the attention. I can't stand it when people give me filthy looks, undressing me with their eyes, pressurise me to talk to them or take their number, try and touch me, don't take no for an answer or shout things at me in the street- not that I go out looking inappropriate but it'll be things like- and I quote "hey sexy I wanna..." Well, you can imagine the rest.  

Can you imagine how disgusting it makes me feel and how embarassing, violating and plain annoying it is? And this is also when I am fully clothed showing no skin with make-up on- not even wearing fitted clothing. It even happens when I look like shit. 

It's not that I'm beautiful and every mans dream-far from it, it's that these men are desperate and disrespectful. I mean since when had anyone ever picked up a decent girl by being crude and lewd? Yet they try their luck so maybe they'll pick up the bad girls and get some quick fun. 

It's a joke and it's bloody shameful that I can't feel comfortable in dressing up for myself to make ME feel good without fear that people will shout at me in the street. Usually I'm alone and it's dangerous. 

For prom last year, I travelled there (and back home) with my well built 6"1 friend. I'm really grateful he went with me because I was walking I had men giving me filthy looks, walking towards me, seeing him & changing direction (well that bit was kinda funny). We walked past a group of guys that were talking and they all went quiet and started staring at me in that disgusting way. He was like I hate to think of what would have happened if you were alone and it was true. It was the same on the way back. I didn't even look inappropriate

My dress was JUST above the knee for goodness sakes! But even then, it shouldn't matter what I wear on, I don't deserve to get treated like that. 

The sad thing is there are men are like this all over. No matter where you go it's not just concentrated in certain areas. There's creeps everywhere and that sucks, why not me admiring or smile or be respectful instead of trying to get in her pants?