This is true of life... People go into things thinking too much, guessing, expecting and it just ruins everything and changes the outcome or you don't enjoy it like you would.
The best things are spontaneous but sometimes, people think, worry, and analyse the fuck out of everything and in turn lose out on the optimum amount of joy & beautiful experiences in situations/life in general or don't even get to enjoy most things because they've thought too much and either made themselves too scared to do it, or have ruined the element of surprise, fun & spontinaiety.
That's a sad existence which I don't really see how you could be happy with because it's boring and mundane, life is meant to be LIVED. E
Some people exist like that and wonder why they can't find true happiness or feel empty. Maybe you shouldn't have turned your back on it, kicked & pushed it away and sought the wrong things to take the pain away and make up for your stupidity. Anything that isn't what you originally need (and you'll know what that is) is the wrong thing.
If you don't do what's in your heart your 'happy' experiences will be tinged with sadness, always. It'll continue too until you recognise your folly and fix it.
Beautiful experiences are indeed rare. Stop throwing the big ones away and seeking little, insignificant ones.
Yours,
D xxx
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