You have to be strong & fight for yourself. You can seek help, guidance, people like me will try & help & guide through mediums such as this, but I can't be stronger than your mind. We can fight but at the end of the day it's YOUR battle and you must face it, fight, be strong & have faith. Believe in victory & work for it... You'll surely win. You'll surely get or attract your hearts desires.  

It must be soley you, for I, like everyone try their damn hardest for you all to think, & live life in ways in which you will be happiest, with what you wish for must. With things like love, carefree attitude, the pursuit of dreams etc. But it doesn't mean you'll listen & do you in fact probably read, agree and think ahh I should do that BUT etc or I can't do that when you can, you can but you stop yourself & block the blessings and happiness. I can't compete with what's in your mind. I can't even try. 

It's hard for us to change but it's better to do something than nothing at all. Is the worst thing that could go wrong in a scenario better than your life now with you doing nothing, or what your life could be? It's for you to decide whether it's worth it. 

Good luck, God bless & I pray you're guided to the right decisions in life and you don't let the doubts scream louder than the hope. 

- Dalanda