Some things in life will leave you speechless, and at times like this you can only really speak of the feelings that stem from what left you speechless.
The words can be so difficult to find, and even when you find some, you can never really do your feelings, or your experiences justice... Especially with just words.
Everyone feels, and sees the world differently so even if you put what you feel into words, music, art, poetry it's likely you won't be understood by many, but for the ones that do it's magic.
I guess that's why it's so easy to fall silent, or become numb. Sometimes you've said all you could possibly say at that moment with your silence. You've let your energies, your demeanour or maybe just your eyes speak for themselves.
Perhaps in time when it's less raw you can describe what moved you so deeply but even then, it's a tamer version of what once was. We don't always do our feelings justice, or allow ourselves to express them freely.
I feel this is because anything that moves you or touches you at a deep level is by nature discordant, frantic, sporadic and an interruption to your daily routine but that's the beauty of it.
It shows us that life isn't meant to be structured, that there aren't limits, that we can do more than what is expected of us as people and tiny details like that can change everything- for better or for worse depending on how you deal with it.
Every day shouldn't be the same. But for many of us it is. We are set up in a structure we are taught to follow until we die... timetables, schools, 9-5's. We forget that as humans we are limitless, free and greater than anything negative that tries to control us. I don't think structure is negative, as we need it to some degree but when it keeps things always rigid and the same and stops people from venturing out of the box that's a problem.
The structure can prove a comfort for many and I find that really sad. So many don't find out how great life could, be because they're too scared to live out their dreams and follow their heart's desires, or they're living a dream that doesn't truly belong to their hearts.
I guess it's a toss off between true happiness and conformity, I'm not sure there's much of a middle ground because you can't really play both fields, and for anything in life if you want to do it properly it's all or nothing.
If you want my advice, from what I've seen and experienced I have found 100% of the time that turning your back on your intuition and what you're pulled towards in life will never make you happy. It will make you at the most comfortable, and many do go for that comfort and settle for a life of bland, monotonous mediocrity because it's scary to follow your dreams. And those people can be workers, CEO's, lawyers, etc. To me and to your heart and soul it's a failure when you don't follow your gut. Your gut is where you're truly meant to be, and a victory in the eyes of this money, system based world is a failure for the soul and a failure for your inner growth. You shouldn't care about looking like a winner in the eyes of everyone else if you're a failure to yourself, because others don't have to live with the consequences but they might try and reap some of the benefits from you.
We're taught to cage ourselves, and like fools we walk into our (open cages) and just sit there maybe occasionally looking out in envy at the people that are free- as though we can't walk out and do the same. It's a place where many remain till their dying day and it's sad because as much as I know it doesn't seem like it, it's easier to follow your heart than turn your back on yourself.
I don't know about you, but for me life isn't really worth living if you're not happy. It's not really much if you're not doing what you're pulled towards. Remember we all have different goals, different callings and happiness means different things to different people but true happiness is that which satisfies your soul before your ego.
One's huge goal might be wanting to teach children and inspire people even though they're a high flying banker... Or to have children even if it means putting a career or promotion on hold. It doesn't have to be outrageous to the eyes of the masses, if to you and your soul it means the world.
That to me is the true meaning of the world - the amazing things that touch you on a spiritual level, not what you can buy. Our souls will not and can not be sated by anything man made. We are only truly responsive to the real things that enthuse us... Those things are divine, deeper than what we see and can't be purchased or faked.
There are so many zombies and soulless faces that once were human beings with hopes and dreams. But when we grow up, they try to make us lose our sense of wonder and suddenly you're in the trap of following frivolous things that pave the way to disappointment, regrets and broken dreams instead of happiness.
But they try to show and tell us that it is the way to happiness. They tell us you're nothing without the things that tickle your ego- status, wealth, a fancy life. It's all bullshit though, a powerful bullshit notion perpetuated all around us causing people sleep on their true selves in pursuit of it.
It puzzles me that so many don't realise consumerism is rife so the select few by virtue of birth or evil get richer, whilst they leave us to fight over the scraps of wealth left behind and scramble for things like mice in a rubbish bin. It's outrageous some of the things people do for money.
Take a moment to compare the satisfaction of a few weeks or days post buying something, next to the feeling of doing something your gut led you towards. You'll get bored of new purchases, but not of opportunities, experiences or having the right things and people in your life because those things are gifts that keep on giving. A new car, dress, watch or shoes won't be there for you when you're crying because you're lonely.
The world has far more to offer you than an inflated ego.
I saw a piece written anonymously by a business man who wanted to be rich, so he built himself up and realised his dream of having a lot of money. However he was completely miserable because he realised that he had and could have everything he could possibly buy but in the process he left everyone behind. In having everything he realised he had nothing at all.
He didn't pay attention to the true things in life and so his wife left with the children (whom he neglected because of work), and he didn't even have friends to support him through the trauma for the same reason. The only people around him were opportunists. He ended the piece on a very grave tone saying he's just going to keep at his job in his company because it's the only security he has now.
What I find most sad about the 'dream' he has decided to chase is that it's really just a never ending nightmare. Money, is never ending, numbers are infinite but there's a finite number of things you can purchase, or wish to purchase. This poor man will always strive for more, and he will always fall short because he's put his faith and trust in something other than himself.
I don't know about you, but I'd rather be happy and have something real to live for.
The things I mentioned earlier that touch us, that we can't really describe or are both afraid and excited of are what we should live for. I mean, you don't have to, and you could settle for but why on earth should you? You'll never be here again as you, in this moment at this time so you should celebrate that. It shouldn't take tragedies or harsh things to make us realise if we're not following our gut. Remember your intuition and ego are different so if you're following your 'gut' to do something to satisfy your ego, you are really fooling yourself.
Trust me, things sort themselves out when you do. Don't be fooled into thinking being a slave to money and consumerism is the only feasible option for your life.
You know your limits, but at the same time you must also remember the only limits that exist are those which you have implemented. If you are following your heart, you will probably either things you once aspired to and more as a by product of you being true to yourself; or realise what you thought you truly wanted was BS.
When we are passionate and driven by our hearts, our gut and doing the right thing we will always perform at our best; however when you follow just your ego, there's always a glass celling (of your own making) that you can never quite break.
So free yourself... To with quote Bob Marley's Redemption Song: 'emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds...'
Take care, have a fantastic weekend and try not to fall victim to consumerism-particularly at this Christmas period. The most valuable gift you can give someone is your time.
Love,
-Dalanda
xoxo
