Sometimes things that are seen as weaknesses are actually signs of strength, like being vulnerable, crying, admitting your mistakes, etc. This paradox actually often creates problems because people do things, or hold on to things that they perceive as strengths but are are actually huge weaknesses.
I believe that strength is a very personal thing, and it means different things to different people. We all have different weaknesses, and overcoming our personal struggles is where true strength lies. Be proud and supportive of everyone on their struggle no matter how small it may seem to you, for one man's strength is another man's weakness.
The main thing about strength is that it's a personal journey. It's up to no one else but you to identify and face up to your weaknesses. It's up to you to strip your soul bare and see who and what you truly are; away from the critical, unhelpful eye of your ego, or the influence of others.
If you don't like what you see, change or rectify it instead of sitting down in self-loathing about how horrible you are (well, have chosen to be).
Other people can help you to find your own inner strength and light, but ultimately it's up to you on whether you you are going to act upon it and be a better person. Ultimately you've got your life in your hands, others may shake you, or try to throw you off but it's still yours. You are still you, and that won't ever change.
When it comes down to it, we are the only ones that can fix our problems. To be perfectly honest with you, nothing in life has let me down more than the actions of others towards me. Sadly throughout life- and not just me but every single person, at some point will get hurt.
It gets easier to detect, but it doesn't make getting hurt easier on you. It also doesn't stop the hurt from happening, because on earth there seems to be an abundance of arseholes.
Regardless of the relationship you have with someone, you can't totally depend on anyone for anything other than yourself. It's not wise for you to trust easily, and you've got to be careful with your heart, mind, time and interactions.
You, your time, effort, and energy are precious- you can't put a price on it, nor can you get it back. Don't allow the gift of you to be abused, or taken advantage of. Appreciate it when others make an effort for you, don't be that person that is the arsehole. As a sign of common decency, be grateful when others show you kindness. Be kind in general, because life is already hard enough as it is- we don't need to be met with hostility too.
There's a fair few decent people on earth, we aren't all inherently bad as human beings but we've certainly been pushed in that direction. However it's very important for you to break away from it.
If you can't find a good person, be one and you might inspire others so there's less arseholes in the world. I don't think you should be a pessimistic loner, but just be careful with who you spend your time with because; A) not everyone has a clean heart, and B) we are a product of our environment. Even if you have the strength of character to not turn into who you hang out with, you're associated with them anyway.
Try to look for the people that mesh well with you, bring out the best in you, appreciate you and aren't toxic. No one and nothing is perfect. If you're looking out for a mistake or fault, you'd find one for sure, so just look out for best in people. NOT the potential in a person because (every single person could make the choice to be kind) actions will always speak louder than words.
Keep an open, positive heart, don't ignore warning signals, and don't be afraid of speaking your mind. As long as you are being honest, and you are speaking from the heart instead of belittling people, you'll be fine.
It's also important to understand that someone else won't fix any problems you may already have with yourself. They can help point them out and lead you in the right direction but only you can change your mind and actions.
A lot of people look for saviours and people who will fix their problems, or that one person that can change everything. However the truth of the matter is that it starts with you. Heck, the person may well be able to help you completely change your life, but if you don't make the changes that you need to make yourself, then things will remain the same. As I mentioned before, it starts with you. You're born alone, you die alone and you have complete autonomy to do whatever the heck you want in between.
Unfortunately though we were sold dreams as a child... life isn't really straight forward. It very well could be, but people, life and circumstances etc don't always align. And if you're good and sweet, it doesn't always guarantee a happy ending. In fact, you're more likely to be used and/or abused by others because people often swing towards the more selfish and opportunistic route instead of kindness.
Whichever one you are or interact with is up to you. We are masters of our own fate, it's rare that someone else changes that. You must to be your own saviour, for you are the only one that can save yourself. The toughness of life is what builds character, wisdom and experience.
Life. It's hard but doable. Lasting this long means you're strong, and you can do this. You can save yourself. Don't let yourself down, just because others have done the same to you. You have to do it for you, at the end of the day we are all physically alone. The only things that never leave us are the things we can't see.
Take care.
Love,
-Dalanda
xoxo
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